I played the main course at Hoebridge Golf Centre in September 2010 and I have to say that it ranks as the worst experience I have ever had on a golf course in 22 years. 95 per cent of the grass on the all the fairways is dead. As a result, they have had to scarify and top dress all 18 fairways and have a lift and place local rule. To add to the woes, the 5 percent of the turf that has a grass covering has not been cut for weeks and so when you place your ball it sinks two inches down into the grass!

It is totally unplayable from the first to the last hole.

And here's the rub; nobody told me of the problems when I booked, or when I turned up and handed over the full green fee of 25 pounds. The first we knew of it was when we walked onto the first "fairway.” In fact, there are no fairways, just one great bit field of rough.

When we returned to the club house, I sought an audience with the general manager, which was duly granted.

He pointed out the laminated A4 sized sign in the pro shop which advised punters of the lift and place rule (but not the fact that all 18 fairways were dead.) It was one of six different laminated signs in close proximity in the pro shop! So you need to read six signs to get to the one which tells you to lift and place.

He also pointed out the other, identical sign on the members’ notice board.

When I told him I thought the information on the sign fell a long way short of full disclosure and that the customers should be told, to their faces, of the problems before they tee off, he said that he was satisfied that he had fulfilled his responsibility to the customer. I strongly disagreed.

He offered no apology, no refund and no offer of so much as a complimentary bucket of balls.

As for the lay-out, well, all the yellow tees were so far forward we were virtually playing off the reds. I hit sand wedge for my second shot into every par four but one!

The 2nd hole is as dull and predictable a par 3 as I have played.

The 5th is mickey mouse with an enormous tree right in front of the middle of the entrance to the green. If you can't hit a high wedge, there is no way to clear the tree.

The 10th offers absolutely no challenge whatsoever.

The 13th is also mickey mouse with three bunkers in the middle of the fairway. One of them was flooded (even though it hadn't rained in four days.) All they needed to do was mark it as GUR, but no. But who puts three bunkers in the middle of a fairway in the first place

As for the 18th, a predictable 156 yard, flat par 3 is no way to end any round of golf.

And they don't even take 2 for 1 vouchers.

If you are thinking of playing a course in the area, you are spoilt for choice. Sutton Green, Merrist Wood and Pine Ridge all offer superb settings with challenging lay-outs at a decent price.

The golf range is the only redeeming feature of this appalling excuse for a golf facility.

Give it as wide a berth as you possibly can.